


Honey Whiskey

by BeTheSammyToMyDean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adorable, Angst, Cute, Dark, Dean as queen of hell, Falling In Love, Hurt Crowley, Hurt Dean, Idiots, King of Hell, Love, M/M, Protective Crowley, Really cute, Slight Alcoholism, Soulmate Bond, Soulmates, so much love, they're both idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2020-07-19 18:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19978879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeTheSammyToMyDean/pseuds/BeTheSammyToMyDean
Summary: Darkness seemed to always find Dean, but this time it came in the shape of the King of Hell...





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm starting this story only knowing the end, which should be interesting. I hope I'm going to do Crowley justice, because I have literally never in my life written him before. This should also be interesting, as I suck at writing. I will do my best to... do my best. Anywhoways, if you do enjoy this story because you've closed your eyes the entire way through, please don't forget to leave those kudo's and maybe some appreciative comments? That would be nice. If you have any hate, do eat your own toes. So, anyways, have a nice and hopefully you enjoy reading this.  
> By the way, my first language isn't English so there might be mistakes, please don't comment too much on that because I will stand in front of your window and cry.

"C'mon, c'mon," Dean muttered between blood-slicked lips, tugging the torn shirt up and turning even more pale than he already was when he saw the deep wound. Blood gushed from it like a waterfall, or like a dam that had just broken. This couldn't be happening, this could not be real. It had to be a dream, another one of those nightmares that wanted to keep Dean from sleeping. He had been having a lot of those lately, this was merely another one. More blood gushed out of the large hole that wasn't supposed to be there, right over Dean's hand, coating it in red. He swallowed hard, slowly raising his shaking hand closer to his eyes, staring at it while tears started to well up. This was wrong, this was so, so, so wrong. "O- Oh God."

"Dean," His eyes twitched when Dean felt a hand on his shoulder, big and reassuring and warm, squeezing him gently. Another hand wrapped around his arm, pulling him up- away from the blood, away from the wound, away from the stench of death that was creeping up on- "Dean, we have to leave." Dean nodded. Yes, leaving. That sounded like a good idea, a great idea. Dean slowly straightened his legs, trying to stop his knees from giving out. He was wobbling, shaking, trembling, everything was wrong. It was just a nightmare, he tried to remind himself, just another nightmare. Soon enough he would wake up in his motel room in his motel bed and Sam would be right there in the other bed and nothing would be wrong and there would be no more blood.

His vision was red and he kept seeing those lips gasping for air, the blood gushing from where tight skin should be. It was horrifying, and Dean wanted it out of his brain. Someone had to get it out of his brain. It looked so real, so real- Dean swallowed down the bile that threatened to come up, shaking his head. It was just a dream. Hands pulled at his arms, pulled him over to the car, the impala, his baby. He panicked, he couldn't drive, not in this state. This was a dream, a nightmare, and he was covered in blood and he would stain the seats and- hands pushed him down into the passenger seat, buckling him up and closing the door which Dean let himself fall heavily against. He saw himself in the reflection of the front window. Pale, wide eyed, blood splattered all over his face like a sick mimic of his freckles. He looked wrong, he _was_ wrong. Everything was wrong, so wrong, so fucking wrong.

"Just breathe, Dean, just breathe. Everything is going to be okay. Here, drink this." Dean accepted the whiskey that was pushed his way, his shaking, bloodied hand holding on to the heavy bottle. He raised it, his heavy arm, and swallowed down some of the liquid, feeling it burn as it went down his throat. It was sweet in comparison to the heavy metal tang of blood, the blood of the now surely dead- Dean closed his eyes. It reminded him of honey, the sweetness and the color of the eyes he'd seen the light slip from. Honey Whiskey. Dean swallowed more of the drink, staring at the blood again before he looked at himself in the wing mirror of the car, black eyes staring back at him...

**\- Many months earlier -**

Dean paid for his meal, grabbing the bag and sending the girl behind the counter one more wink before he walked out again. He got back into the Impala, making sure not to drip any burger grease onto the seats -those stains would _never_ come out- as he put the back into Sam's lap. Sam, who flinched away a little at the temperature of the meal inside of said bag. It was already nearly one hundred degrees outside, he didn't want a lap full of Dean's beloved cholesterol inducing cheeseburgers. "Dinner is served, young padawan."

"I can feel that, thanks. Did you at least get me something edible?" Sam, for whatever reason he had, was in one of his bitchy pissy fits again. It happened a lot, especially when it was hot like it was now, and Dean was pretty much convinced that his baby brother was actually a baby sister. Nothing against girls but, you know, Dean loved annoying his brother _a lot._ It was easy too, Dean could just _breathe_ and Sam would want to murder him in his sleep. Which was totally unfair, and also impossible. Dean was a light sleeper, he would wake up before Sam could do anything. Oh, and besides that, Dean was also much stronger than Sam was because he was older and more manly. "Because, unlike you, I don't want to die in five years because I get a heart attack."

"And you're gonna die of a lettuce overdose. What about those rabbits, man? You're eating all their carrots." Dean reached into the bag for his burger, sitting back and unwrapping it. He would never let Sam stop him from eating the burgers he loved so much. "I got you what you asked for, one of the world's most boring and bland meals: a Caesar salad." Sam rolled his eyes and muttered something about Dean's cholesterol, which was fine by the way, before starting to munch and crunch on said extremely boring meal. Dean had always enjoyed their banter, he thought it was healthy in their brotherly relationship. Growing up in each other's pocket wasn't exactly ideal for either of them, especially when Sam got into puberty. That guy had been the worst, always at Dean's throat. It usually wasn't bad, mostly just some teasing comments thrown here and there like sprinkles of salt, and they made sure to never actually say something hurtful. They had only fought physically a handful of times, which was because Dean didn't want to hurt his baby brother and Sam never really got angry enough to actually attack Dean.

"So, where are we going?"

"To Bumfuck nowhere, Texas," Sam answered, showing Dean the name of the place they were going on the map that was placed in his lap. They were on another hunt, as they seemingly always were, and had yet to get to the town that was being haunted. Or well, Sam suspected it was another haunting but they had learned that they could never be sure until, well basically until they could be sure. "There are a lot of reports of the usual hauntings. Doors slamming closed, pantries opening on their own, candles falling over, curtains moving when there's no wind, all that stuff. Doesn't seem that special I know, but get this. People sometimes go to bed and then wake up next to the town's lake, and there's been three people who didn't wake up next to it but actually inside of it."

"I'm just going to assume they sort of died?" Dean asked, mouth full of chewed burger. Sam frowned in disgust at seeing the inside of Dean's mouth, the skin next to his nose wrinkling. Dean just grinned at that, winking at Sam who rolled his eyes and gave him bitchface #17, proceeding to continue looking at his research papers afterwards. The older Winchester brother snorted, shaking his head. He was cursed to be the only one in his family with a good sense of humor.

"Yes. Three deaths and many other people who didn't die or get hurt but were very confused. Still are, probably." Sam spoke up before quieting down again, continuing to eat his salad. Dean leaned back in his seat, staring out of the front window while slowly polishing off his burger. There they were, in a diner parking lot somewhere in the asshole of the USA, eating their usual dinner and not actually enjoying their meals but pretending to do so because they couldn't get anything better anyways. They were on their way to another hunt, another game with death, running for their lives while also running straight towards an early grave. Were they happy? No, not really. But did it matter? No, because they couldn't change it. These were the lives of Sam and Dean Winchester, hunters extraordinaire, and they would probably live like this until the day they died.

Well, I mean, if no one was going to fuck them over, of course...


	2. Two Queens

It took the boys a while before they arrived at their destination, and they found a motel pretty quickly. After parking and getting themselves a bed, Sam went out to the library to do research while Dean stayed back to find out who they should talk to. He sat down on his bed, chewing on his lip while he stared at Sam's laptop. If there weren't any lives at stake, Dean would have totally started to look at some porn. Okay, maybe that was what he was doing. He had a lot of worked up emotions and he needed a release. But he wasn't going to tell Sam, though, because Sam would just give him another lecture about how Dean could get him another damn virus. Like Dean would get him those on purpose, he wasn't that evil. Besides, this was the only laptop they had and they didn't exactly have enough money to buy a new one. Not that they wouldn't use a fake credit card, but still Dean wasn't going to take any chances.

Dean was in the middle of jerking himself off, hand in his pants and the laptop letting out soft little moans. Yeah, this was definitely making him feel so much better than he was feeling before. He had his eyes fixated on the two women on screen when suddenly a voice spoke up next to him. "I see your taste in whores hasn't changed."

The hunter barely stopped himself from screaming, managing to yank his hand from his pants and snap the laptop shut at the same time. He whirled his head around, gun in his hand by this point, and he aimed it at whoever dared to suddenly bother him. This had been his private time, and he definitely didn't appreciate being interrupted. When he saw the actual King of Hell staring at him from where he was sitting on the chair in the corner of the room, Dean groaned and put his gun back down, wiping his slightly precum stained hand on the sheets. "First of all, they're not whores and my taste in women is great. Second of all, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Afternoon to you as well, squirrel," Crowley grinned, fixing the sleeve of his suit jacket. Dean always wondered why the man- no, the demon- always was dressed like he was about to either attend a business meeting or a funeral. He doubted that any demon really cared how their boss was dressing up his meat suit, so it was probably just something that Crowley liked to do. "I heard that you and your moose of a brother have found a new hunt."

"How do you- never mind, I really shouldn't ask how you know that. I don't want to know what shit you've got your dirty fingers in." Dean sighed, opening the laptop back up and making sure to wipe his history before he shut the device off. It wasn't like he was going to get any jerking off done now, and it just didn't feel right having Crowley in the same room while Dean still had porn on his laptop. "Yes, we found a hunt. What's it got to do with you?"

"This ghost, it's protecting something. Something important to me, and I need it back." Crowley drawled, flicking his wrist which made a half full glass of whiskey appear in his hand. Fuck, Dean kind of wished that he could do that as well. An unlimited supply of alcohol was _everything_ Dean had ever wanted. 

"Ah, of course. You need something again. I'm hurt, Crowley, you never stop by just for me." Dean pretend pouted, running a hand through his hair before realizing that he should have probably washed it. Whatever, he was going to take a shower soon anyways. Besides, he was too tired and annoyed to care much. He should have had an amazing orgasm by now. "So you know it's a ghost?"

"I know everything, darling," Dean snorted and rolled his eyes, looking away again. Crowley always _had_ to be so fucking sassy, it was so incredibly annoying. It always made Dean feel so weird in his tummy, he had no idea how to describe it but it almost felt like his stomach was just clenching and his thighs trembled. Probably because he was disgusted by the demon. Yeah, that was definitely it. What else could it be? 

"If you need whatever you need so bad, why don't you just get it yourself? Surely a ghost isn't stronger than the almighty King of Hell," Dean was already laughing inside, imagining someone as powerful as Crowley getting his ass kicked by the ghost of some old lady. Sorry, but imagining that was amazing, okay? It was hilarious to Dean. Cause he hated Crowley, he really did. "Or do you just expect us to do your dirty work for you?"

"I know you and your idiot of a brother are going after the ghost no matter what. Which means I don't have to do it and I won't get my suit stained, because the ghost is tied to the necklace," Crowley smirked, making Dean roll his eyes and shake his head. Yeah, Crowley was incredibly annoying. "So, why don't you just do as I ask you to do? It would be so much easier for the both of us, darling."

"Don't call me that, Crowley. But fine, whatever. What do I need to get for you?" Dean had actually no reason for why he was helping the King of Hell. Maybe he told himself that he could get a deal out of this, that Crowley would owe him one. At least that's how this worked in Dean's mind.

"It's a necklace with a heart on it, I'd like it back."

"I didn't think you were one for wearing necklaces. I guess I was wrong," Dean smirked, making Crowley roll his eyes before shaking his head, looking at Dean expectantly. "Yeah, yeah, I'll do it. But I want-" Dean stopped when Crowley just disappeared, making him sigh and shake his head. Of course. That ass just thought he could get Dean to do things and not give anything in return. And the weird thing? Dean wanted to help him.

"It's a ghost-"

"Don't talk with your mouth full. You're old enough to know how to swallow, Dean." Dean smirked a little at his little brother's words before winking at Sam. He had no idea why he was even doing this, why he was helping Crowley out, but he was. Shouldn't he be fighting against him? They hated Crowley, didn't they? Then why was Dean helping him by finding that necklace that the King of Hell needed? "A ghost? You're sure?"

"Mmh," Dean nodded, wiping his ketchup stained mouth clean. Hey, diner burgers were amazing, no matter how greasy or lukewarm they were. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the burgers were pretty much the only constant Dean had in his crazy life of hunting. Or maybe it was just because Dean didn't give a shit about his cholesterol. Sam raised a brow, looking like he was about to ask how Dean was so sure about this- Dean knew this because they had grown up together and Dean knew pretty much every meaning behind every facial expression of Sam. "Figured it out with my brains, Sammy."

"Sure." Sam hummed, shaking his head before going back to his salad, reading over the evidence. Dean chewed on his burger, trying to stay relaxed. Fuck, Sam couldn't know what was happening. Sam couldn't know about Crowley or how weird Dean felt around said Crowley. He was going to have to find a solution for this all by himself, no one could ever find out. Especially not Crowley...


	3. Research

Dean wasn't very good with feelings. If anything, he had no idea how to even feel feelings. And that was hard sometimes. Because sometimes you just need to cry, right? You just need to feel shit and let those feelings take over and all you can do is sit back and go with it. Spiral down. But Dean couldn't. He couldn't let himself feel things. Ever since he was young he was taught how to hide everything, how to push everything down and not feel _anything._ And you see, that kind of meant that he had a little bit of trouble connecting to any of his emotions right now. It was kind of horrible, because he had no idea how to feel normal feelings like, you know, like normal people did.

Sam always made it seem so easy and simple. That man could just connect to his emotions and cry more than one tear like a real human being. Dean had to use all the power in his being to squeeze out a single tear, and he'd be emotionally and physically exhausted after that. It wasn't that Dean didn't feel things, he wasn't a complete psycho. It was more that he had no idea how to handle the feelings that he did feel, the sadness and the grief and the pain. He just hid it, stuffed it away in the back of his mind until he couldn't hold it back anymore and it basically ripped him apart and it all exploded into that one single damn tear. And it was never as fun as it sounded. It was actually horrible. Sometimes Dean just wished he could've been more like Sam, that he could actually understand what he was feeling instead of trying to drown it out with whiskey.

And now there were new feelings, things that Dean had never felt before. How the fuck was he going to handle those? Dean had no idea, he couldn't even handle the feelings he'd felt for more than thirty years. It made him kind of just want to scream, or get a bottle of booze and drink the entire thing and hopefully pass out and wake up remembering nothing. But of course it never worked that way. Believe me, Dean had tried. Multiple times, actually. Only left him feeling worse the next morning. Dean kind of debated spending the rest of his life drunk. Fuck his liver and kidneys, right? Like he actually needed those.

"What are you thinking about?" Dean blinked a little at his little brother who was staring at him in concern. The oldest Winchester then realized that he'd just spent at least two full minutes pouring syrup onto his pancakes, which meant they were soaked and Sam was fully aware of the fact that there was something wrong with his big brother. Great. Now he was gonna have to eat soggy pancakes. Life just couldn't get any worse, right? And how was Dean ever going to admit to thinkin' about the worst thing ever: Crowley? "Dude-" Sam smacked Dean's hand, finally stopping Dean from pouring the syrup. Yeah, he should've done that like... Hours ago. "You really don't care about your health at all, do you?"

"It's just syrup. What's it gonna do? It's made from maples. Maples are trees, and trees are healthy." Sometimes it worked to act stupid and crazy, it would annoy Sam so much and made him believe even more that Dean didn't have enough brain cells to even think. And then Sam didn't even want to talk to Dean, which was perfect right now. No talking, no feelings, no problems.

"You- I don't even know what to say anymore." Sam breathed out, rubbing a hand over his face like he was just tired. See? Dean's plan was working. Just act stupid, you'll get out of everything. But don't take my advice, I'm stupid. "You know that we're working on the case today, right?"

"But I already told you it's a ghost." 

"Yes, but we need to figure out who the ghost is and why it's there and where the body is buried and-"

"Hi," Dean smiled at the waitress, winking at her. She blushed, pushing out her already huge cleavage a little more as she poured some fresh coffee into Dean's cup. Hey, it was another way of distracting himself. And a great way, too. If Dean said so himself. Wink wink. Little Dean appreciated it very much as well. Maybe he could flirt a little? No harm in that, right? "Thanks for the coffee, darlin'. When do you get off?"

"Dean, we don't have time for this-"

"Yes we do."

"No, we don't."

"Hell yeah I have time."

"She's already gone," Sam said, making Dean look back at where the girl had been just now and instead he blinked at the empty space. Great, there went Dean's happiness and also his orgasm. Now he was going to have to jerk himself off again. Boring. Besides, Crowley really ruined it for him the last time and now every time Dean jerked off his mind went to the king of hell. Somehow that didn't get his dick down yet, though. Which was really weird. Dean just blamed it on the fact that he hadn't gotten laid in the longest of times. "So, you'll go around interviewing people while I try the library. Sound good?"

Dean just nodded, knowing that there was no room for arguments. Besides, it wasn't like he rather go to the library instead. No, this was much better. There wasn't much good in this whole thing, so this was as good as it could get. And any time Dean could get something that was even remotely good, he grasped it and didn't let go. So, interviewing people all alone it was...

"Where are you going?"

"Son of a bitch!" Dean cursed, desperately trying to get Baby back under control as she swerved to the other side of the road. He narrowly missed a truck that honked angrily at him, making Dean glare even more at the passenger who had suddenly appeared. "What the hell, Crowley? You can't just do that!"

"Oh but I can, dear," The literal king of Hell smiled, winking at Dean. There was totally no blush on Dean's cheeks by now, not at all. That was a lie, it definitely wasn't happening. If you tell anyone else, Dean's coming to kill you. Whatever color there was on his cheeks was because of anger, not because he was flustered. Dean didn't get flustered, it was impossible. "I just did it."

"Congratufuckinglations. Do you want a sticker? A little note in your report card that says you're really good at giving other people heart attacks?" Dean grumbled, his already sour mood only going down more. He felt horrible, because he didn't understand the other feelings he was feeling. Why was he feeling so weirdly warm inside? Was Crowley setting him on fire from the inside out? No, he wouldn't do that. This was just another feeling that Dean had to push down deep inside of him and never think of again.

"You didn't have a heart attack, don't be so dramatic, squirrel. Your heart is beating fast for other reasons." Crowley smugly replied, this time actually making Dean's cheeks flush. But he would still deny it if you would ask him. Dean Winchester did not get flustered, remember? 

"I have no fuckin' idea what you're talking about, shut up. Why are you here?" Dean was very much done with this, because there was no reason why Crowley was in the car with him right now. There was no reason at all why any of this was happening. Why did Crowley ask for his help in the first place? He was powerful and almighty or whatever, so surely he could beat a tiny little ghost, right? Why did he need to get Sam and Dean on this? Something just wasn't adding up.

"Are you telling me I wasn't invited? I thought we were working this case together?" The king of Hell pretended to be hurt and shocked, putting a hand on his chest, right over the place where his heart was supposed to be. He didn't have one, of course. Or if he did have one, it was all blackened and charcoaled. That's not a word, but you understand what I mean.

"Where the hell did you get that thought?" Dean was now even more confused than he had been before. Hadn't Crowley just told him to get that necklace back for him? There had been no mentioning of Crowley actually working this case, so why did Crowley think that he _was_ working the case? Like Dean thought before: something wasn't adding up at all.

"You're retrieving something for me-"

"Not your dog."

"Ah, pet play. A kink of yours? We could use that, I have enough collars-"

"Crowley!" Dean's face was definitely red by now, and not because of anger anymore. It was shame or something. Or just disgust. Or something else, something that Dean _really_ didn't want to think about because the thought of liking Crowley like that was so absurd. Dean really should drink less. Or more. 'Cause his brain wasn't okay at all. 

"Relax, we're not doing it now." Crowley laughed, as if that would make Dean feel better. He parked the car in front of the witness' house, turning to the crossroads demon turned king. This whole thing was just insane. Dean didn't like any of this at all.

"Or ever!"

"Mmh, that's what you think." Dean wondered for a split second if Crowley could see the future. That wasn't a demon trait, was it? Dean really hoped it wasn't, because that would definitely suck. That would mean that somehow Crowley and Dean would end up together. Dean needed to distract him and Crowley from this conversation. 'Cause Dean was already very much done with this entire thing, and he kind of sort of wanted to just lay in bed and get drunk and cry, for some weird reason.

"Crowley, just tell me what you're doing."

"I'm here to help. I've even done research." That was very surprising. The research part, yes, because Crowley wasn't exactly someone who did the hard or dirty work himself. So why _was_ he doing research? He was probably just lying, taking credit for himself while some demon out there had spent hours on research- was Dean feeling bad a demon now? God, there was definitely something weird going on with Dean. Something weird and something really wrong.

"This is insane... Fine, but you have to let me do the talking. And no demon things, got that?" It wasn't like Dean could tell Crowley not to come with him, right? The King of Hell wasn't going to listen to him, Dean was just a pathetic human being. Much less powerful than a king of all that was unholy. Besides, Crowley was a stubborn son of a bitch, he wasn't going to do what Dean wanted him to do. This was useless, so all Dean could hope was that Crowley wasn't going to make things float or whatever and scare the lady they were supposed to get information out of. He just hoped Sam wouldn't find out, because he wouldn't let him hear the end of it.

"Ooh, feisty. Of course, I understand. I'll be good, I promise." But Crowley _really_ needed to quit it with the Goddamned mentions of sex, it was really annoying. And it was making Dean feel ways that he shouldn't feel, because he hated it. Yeah, this was definitely a bad idea.

"I'm already regretting this."

"You took Crowley?!" Sam was livid. His face was red, and there was this vein in his forehead popping out. It was kind of terrifying. If Dean didn't know his little brother, well, he'd be scared as hell for his life. I mean, a six foot four man towering over you with weapons right behind him on the motel room table? Mmh, not exactly a position you want to be in. No matter how weirdly kinky you are. Maybe it would've been better if it had been Crowley who- Yeah, no, Dean was not going there. Jesus Christ, what was wrong with him? Crowley, demon, dangerous. Bad. Bad. Bad. Definitely not hot. Not at all.

"Well, in my defense: he just appeared in the car. I couldn't exactly get him out." 

"You could have said no!"

"To the king of Hell?" Dean snorted, shaking his head like Sam had just said the craziest thing ever. Which he had, mind you. Like he said before, Crowley wasn't going to listen to him, no matter what. "Are we talking about the same person? He would've just waltzed in. Believe me, this was the best and only option. He would've ruined it for us if I said that he couldn't come."

"I have no idea what's happening to you, Dean. Working together with Crowley? You're acting weird, and if you're not going to tell me, then I'll just find out on my own."

Yeah, Dean really hoped Sam wouldn't find out about his weird new feelings. Else everything would be completely ruined...


	4. Ouchies

Sam hadn't said a word to him in almost 24 hours.

Of course, the brothers had fights before. That's what siblings did: they fought. It was pretty damn normal, healthy even. But Sam and Dean, they were really close, they didn't often fight. They had some bickering now and then, but they hardly ever had huge fights. This, this was a pretty big thing for them. Sam ignoring Dean like this, just refusing to talk to him, it was horrible to the oldest Winchester. He loved Sam, even if he had a hard time admitting to it, and he never liked it when Sam was mad at him.

Dean understood that what he had done could have ended up horribly. But everything could, that was just life. Everything always went to shit, didn't it? Especially for the Winchesters. He got it, he got Sam completely. Look, he was an asshole back when Sam decided to trust Ruby (which Dean had been right about all along, by the way, but that's another story and totally not helping Dean's point), but did that really mean that Sam needed to be an asshole about this? It would all be easier if Dean would just talk about his feelings, but we all know that's not ever going to happen. If he would just explain to Sam that he was feeling really weird things for Crowley and that he hated life and that he was kind of scared of said newfound feelings, maybe Sam wouldn't be mad at him anymore. But hey, Dean rather have Sam ignoring him than admitting to going crazy and feeling stuff for someone as dark and evil as Crowley the King of Hell.

Life really damn sucked.

"Hey, look, old skin mags," Dean said, making Sam sigh and Dean could basically _hear_ the eye-roll. They were looking around an old, abandoned library, trying to find any kind of clue of lost files that might have something to do with the ghost. Sam had said that at the actual opened library they told him that the last library had a fire and it destroyed so much of the structure of the building that it was unsafe to even go inside. Obviously the Winchester didn't know the word 'unsafe' or understand it, so Sam and Dean went inside in search for the old files that could never be recovered. "What, like you don't wanna see some pin up girls all naked."

"Why can't you ever take a case seriously, Dean? You _always_ have to make fun of everything," Sam suddenly snapped, making Dean blink at him. Okay, that was a little strange. Sam usually didn't snap like that, Dean usually saw it coming. He knew Sam better than Sam knew himself, so why hadn't he seen this coming? "I mean, first you bring Crowley along to witnesses, and then you can't stop talking while we are clearly in a very illegal situation?"

"Hey, this is what I always do-"

"Yeah, and I'm sick of it. It's getting old quick, Dean. Just for once in your life I wish you weren't like this." 

"Like what?" Dean asked, dreading the answer. He had a feeling that he definitely wasn't going to like this. Yeah, no, this was going to be painful wasn't it? 

"Like you." Dean swallowed with a click at Sam's words, looking away. Okay, yeah, that really hurt. That was around the most painful thing Dean had ever heard anyone say to him, and he'd had a lot of people say painful things to him. Demons, his own father, more demons, his damned father. And a thousand other demons, and of course his father. John Winchester was a huge fucking asshole. "Dean, I-"

"No, no you're right. I keep fucking up hunts because of the fact that I keep talking. I'm sorry. Let's just get the files, okay?" Dean gruffly said, pushing past Sam and moving to rummage through more files. He crouched down, looking at a box and thumbing through some papers. Was it weird that all he wanted right now was for a hug from Crowley? Well, maybe not even a hug. Seeing his stupid face might just be enough. God, Dean really was fucked up in the head...

"You seem a little off today, squirrel," Dean didn't even flinch anymore at the sound of Crowley's voice next to him. He'd gone out for a drink, not really feeling like spending more time around his little brother anymore. It hurt too much after what he'd said, and Dean couldn't just ignore it. He needed some time for himself, even if it was just a few hours. The hunt could wait another day, victims only seemed to happen once every week on a Saturday. "What's wrong?"

"Why are you asking? It's not like you want to know."

"Well, actually, I do. Yes, I know, surprise. The king of Hell has feelings. It's very unsettling, but, I really do want to know what's wrong." Crowley said, waving the pretty bartender over and ordering them an entire bottle of whiskey. Expensive whiskey, too. Huh, maybe Crowley wasn't that bad. This was something great, anyways. Whiskey was always good, right? "Look, we can just pretend I'm asking you this in favor of the case. Because we both know that you won't be any good hunting with that brother of yours if you're all... Emotional like a little girl."

Dean snorted, watching as Crowley poured him a glass of whiskey, taking a sip soon after. Yeah, he'd definitely needed that. "It's nothing, just... Sam being Sam. He got mad that I took you to interview the witnesses, said you could've ruined stuff for us. 'Cause, you know, you're the king of Hell and that means you're a gigantic dick."

"I do _have_ a pretty sizable penis," Crowley mused, making Dean nearly choke on his whiskey. Okay, damn, that was definitely not what Dean had expected. Now he was curious about that, too. Great. Just fucking great. Dean really did not want his mind to go there. Why did his brain always have to pick up the sexual stuff and get stuck on that? "But, even though I'm one of the most cunningly evil demons on earth and wherever else, I can still be a nice guy. And you're not as annoying as I always thought you were."

"Wow, thanks. That's so sweet of you." Dean snorted, looking at Crowley before he sighed, nodding his head slowly. Yeah, okay, why the hell shouldn't he talk about this? It wasn't like he had anything to lose, right? And even if Crowley was going to fuck him over, Dean didn't really care. It wasn't like people hadn't used things against him before. "Sam pretty much told me I'm a... Nuisance."

"Look at you, using big words," Crowley poured some more whiskey into their glasses, letting out a deep sigh. "Dean, your brother is an idiot," Dean raised a brow, making Crowley roll his eyes. Hey, Sam was still Dean's baby brother. He still wanted to take care of him, no matter what. "You're not a nuisance. Sure, you are extremely annoying and sometimes I'd love to strangle you-"

"Not helping."

"But, you're also worth much more than you think." Crowley finished, making Dean tense a little. The king of Hell was the last person he thought he'd ever hear these words from, but somehow it felt really good. It made Dean smile inside. It made him warm inside. He wanted to hear words like that come out of Crowley's mouth much more often. All the time, maybe. Yeah, that'd be great. "Now drink up. I'll make sure you get to your brother safely."

God, this was the craziest night Dean had ever had. But, was it really that bad? No. It was just insane and strange and weird and it made Dean feel even more of those insane feelings, but he really loved this. Somehow. He was drinking whiskey with the king of Hell, and it was the best night he'd had in months. He better not tell Sam, huh?


	5. Babysitting, really?

Dean rubbed a hand over his face, looking into the mirror. He had never been very self conscious about his looks, not until he'd started to get older. Now he was starting to get wrinkles, he'd even seen some grey hairs on his scalp. It was insane, and Dean really didn't want to think about getting older. At one side it felt as a blessing because, well, he hadn't thought that he would ever get this old, but at the other side it was not good. He didn't want to be old, because it made him question why _he_ was getting older while so many more important people around him hadn't been able to live their life to the fullest. And usually that was because of Dean. 

So, no, he had never really thought that he was ugly or anything like that, but he _had_ thought that he was worthless. Even angels had called him the human embodiment of self loathing. Dean hated himself, had always thought that he wasn't worth anything. And Sam telling him that he should be ' _less like himself_ ' was around the most painful thing he had ever been told. It hurt, that was all Dean could say about it. It basically broke his heart because after all this, Dean still sometimes could find comfort in the fact that Sam looked up to him. Apparently that wasn't even true either. But why would Sam look up to him, right? Dean was a nothing, a nobody, a worthless little bitch.

No one had ever liked Dean. He'd always taken pride in the fact that he was able to get more girls than Sam was. It felt good, it made Dean feel some kind of pride. But, if he really thought about it, all that meant was that he was able to lie better, to be better at pretending that he was a good person. All that meant was that he might have some better looks than Sam. It didn't mean that his insides were better, that he had a more wonderful and lovable personality than Sam had. Because that just wasn't true. He sucked, let's just get that out there. Dean sucked ass, because he wasn't a good person. He wanted to be a good person, he _tried_ to be a good person, but it just never worked out for some reason. Dean always seemed to be able to fuck it up some way or another, which was actually pretty impressive. 

Being liked by the king of hell, being liked by Crowley, was something that Dean had never thought would happen. Look, he understood that it wasn't right and he knew that it should bother him, but he couldn't be bothered. Having the king of Hell liking you so much couldn't be a good thing, now could it? Dean decided that he was just going to ignore it. If he didn't pay much attention to it, then what could go wrong? Exactly, nothing. This was the Winchester way, just ignoring things until they went away. This is not recommended, by the way. Don't ignore your problems, the Winchesters don't really learn from their mistakes but ignoring problems usually makes things worse. 

Dean sighed before he walked out of the gas 'n sip bathroom, moving around the small gas station and grabbing some candy bars and beef jerky. He always got snacky when he was depressed. As he walked around, he noticed someone following him. This was confusing, of course, because Dean didn't think they were having very many problems like this anymore. After all the shit that had happened to them, Sam and Dean now had gone back to their normal hunts. The earth was doing pretty okay, Heaven and Hell were under control, so all the boys had to do was hunt down sons of bitches that weren't very nice. So why was someone- or rather _something_ following him?

"Hi," Dean said, putting down the candy bars and grabbing his wallet, paying for everything he had grabbed. He got the receipt, walked out of the shop, and noticed that yes indeed he was still being followed. Great. Dean moved into an alleyway, waiting in the shadows. The thing followed, walking past Dean, which made Dean jump out and press the guy against the wall, knife to it's throat. "Why are you following me?"

The thing grinned, raising a brow and showing off completely black eyes. Dean let out a deep sigh, pressing the knife harder into the demon's throat. He knew there wasn't much of a point trying to slit the demon's throat because it wouldn't do anything but kill the human he was wearing. And that was definitely not what he wanted to do. But this still made Dean feel like he had a bit of control, even if he didn't have any at all. "I'm just following orders."

"Orders? What orders? From who?"

"Orders to keep an eye on you to make sure an idiot like you doesn't get hurt. Believe me, I'd rather not follow you, but I have to because else I'll be on the rack next." The demon hissed, eyes going back to normal. Dean pulled back, keeping his knife in his hand just in case something went wrong and he'd have to use it. Again, it wasn't going to do much, but still. It made Dean feel a little less powerless. "You know who gives us demons orders, Winchester. So, why don't you just go along and play with that supposed to be boyking brother of you and let us do our jobs?"

"I am going to murder Crowley." Dean grumbled, putting his knife back into his pants and starting to walk back to the motel he and Sam were staying at. This was so fucking unfair. Crowley was having demons babysit him, which was just crazy. Why was he doing this? He was probably just keeping an eye on Dean so he could find out more about the case and that stupid necklace. It wasn't like Crowley would ever care about Dean, now would he? Dean walked into the motel room, slamming the door closed, making Sam look up from where he'd been practically inside of his laptop. "Got beer, and candy. Don't touch it."

"Care to tell me why Crowley is babysitting you?" Sam asked, making Dean groan before he let himself fall down on his bed, unwrapping a Snickers and stuffing half of it into his mouth. This was so unfair. Crowley wasn't doing this to get information out of Dean, he was doing this to annoy him. That definitely was it. "There were two demons that kept guarding the car and the door, so... What's going on with you and Crowley?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Now shut up before I smack you." Dean snapped before leaning back, chewing on his candy bar. This was so unfair. Sam sighed, shaking his head before he looked back at his laptop. Dean knew this wasn't the end of it, but he could just pretend for a few minutes that this wasn't happening. That none of this was going on. That seemed like a really nice plan for now...

"Crowley, damn it. I can't sleep if you keep those assholes outside of my goddamn bedroom door." Dean snapped into his phone to leave the king of hell a voicemail, looking through that little spy-hole in the motel room door. He had been up the entire night, just because the fact that there were literally _three demons_ watching over him made him feel very fucking nervous all the time. And the fact that this was all Crowley's doing was also very annoying. Why the hell did that asshole suddenly feel the need to babysit him? No, why did he feel the need to get Dean babysitters? "Look, I appreciate the sudden sentiment but they're really annoying. They don't even let me go outside alone. Why am I being watched by them, Crowley? C'mon, you know I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for long enough. So please, either you do it yourself or don't keep an eye on me at all."

Dean hung up, letting out a deep sigh. This was so weird and all. He hated it, he really did. Because he was being watched by Crowley's minions and Crowley didn't want to tell him why he apparently was worried about Dean or something. If the king of hell was worried about Dean, then there had to either be something huge going on or he was much closer to Dean than Dean originally had thought. And Dean had no idea which of those two thoughts was scarier to him. Dean sighed, moving back to his bed and laying down, staring at the ceiling after covering himself with the soft blanket. After another hour of staring, Dean managed to drift off, his last thought being of Crowley watching him because he wanted to take care of Dean...


	6. Chapter 6

Dean really shouldn't have told Crowley that, if he wanted to keep an eye on Dean, he should do it himself instead of sending out stupid demons. Because, now Crowley was doing it. And no matter how much Dean liked having the king of Hell around, he still did not like it to turn the shower off and reach for the towel only to have his hand stroked. He might or might not have screamed a little before he pushed the shower curtain to the side, ready to kill whatever or whoever was in the bathroom with him. Of course he didn't exactly have a weapon and he was stark naked, but he just hoped that whatever this monster was, it was allergic to soap. When Dean noticed that it wasn't a monster but an actual king, he groaned before taking the towel and covering himself up. Crowley seemed to be very amused, which Dean did not like. He was a bit of a slut, he didn't have a problem with anyone seeing him naked- anyone he didn't like as much as he liked Crowley. This was different, this was his 'crush' he was talking about. Not that he thought of Crowley as his crush of course, that would be insane.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dean asked, moving to get out of the shower, walking over to the sink to grab his razor to shave himself. He didn't like getting a beard, he felt like it made him look uncared for. And as a pretend FBI agent, he needed to look professional. So, no beards. There were standards, and Dean needed to follow them. "I don't think it's very polite to spy on someone in the shower."

"Oh come on, Dean. I could hardly even see anything, there was a shower curtain darling," Crowley purred out, making Dean roll his eyes, cursing his reddening cheeks. He hated that he blushed easily whenever he was around Crowley, it was just so unfair. He felt like a damn little girl with a teenage crush, and that was not what he wanted to feel like. "But I do want to thank you for the pleasant sight of your nude body."

"You are so gross," Dean grumbled out, glaring at Crowley through the mirror. Crowley wasn't even looking at him. Or well, he was, but he was looking at Dean's back and the towel that covered up his ass. Dean huffed, hissing when he nicked himself with the razor. Crowley was on him in an instant, taking the razor from him and gently dabbing the blood from his cheek with a piece of toilet paper. "W- What are you doing?"

"Taking care of you, you dimwit," Crowley muttered, frowning while he carefully wiped the blood off. He then brushed his finger over the small wound which was hardly anywhere close to how hurt Dean had been at times before. I mean, he'd died multiple times. A small wound from the damn razor didn't hurt that much. When Dean looked back in the mirror after Crowley stepped back, the cut was gone. The king of Hell had cured him, healed him, for some weird reason. It just didn't make any sense. Why would Crowley do that? "There you go, much better."

"Why are you taking care of me?" Dean asked, his voice kind of rough. It felt so strange getting all this attention, Dean wasn't used to it. And especially not the good kind of attention. Like yeah, most of the time he got the girls and what not, but damn, he never had someone taking care of him. Sam tried, but Dean always refused because this wasn't Sam's job. Sam should only care about himself, not about Dean. That was just a rule. "You're the king of hell, I'm just a cockroach to you, aren't I?" 

"Whoever made you think that? That's not true, Dean. You're more than that," Crowley said, looking at Dean with concern on his face. That was kind of unsettling. Dean had never seen that on his face before, it was strange. Very strange. It shouldn't be there because of Dean, now should it? Something was going on, and Dean wasn't sure if it was good. Maybe Crowley was hexed or something, cursed into believing that he liked Dean. "I care about you. And you were right, I shouldn't have those maggot minions do my job. They won't do it right anyways. I don't want you to get hurt because they didn't keep an eye on you."

"You're insane. You're so weird, Crowley," Dean muttered, rubbing a hand over his face before quickly finishing shaving himself. He stepped away, glancing at Sam. "So, can I uh, can I dry myself in private?"

"Sam is gone, so... Yes, darling, go ahead." Crowley smiled sweetly, making Dean grumble before glaring at Crowley, squinting a little. Why didn't that asshole get it through his thick head? Was it really that hard to understand that Dean wasn't good with these things? He needed to... Well, Dean had no idea what he needed. At least not this, whatever it was, with Crowley, right? He didn't need to have the king around him all the time, looking out for him. He could take care of himself just fine. "Oh, you want me out of here as well... I see... Well, I'll be watching you from downstairs, sweetheart." Crowley disappeared with a dramatic 'woosh' and Dean sighed, rubbing a hand over his face again. Great. This was just great. He was never going to be able to survive this...

"So, I found some leads on the case." Sam slowly said, eyeing his big brother and then looking at the king of hell who was lounging on his big brother's bed, playing a game on his phone with the sound on. Just to be annoying, probably. Sam was very confused about this, because why was Crowley with them so much? Dean looked very pissed about it, his entire face was red while he stabbed at his bacon. Weird. "We can go to the library to get more information."

"Great." Dean muttered, shoving some bacon into his mouth without looking up at Sam. He didn't seem excited at all, if Sam was honest. Which was kind of weird, because usually Dean didn't seem to mind hunting. But something was changing, and it most likely had to do with Crowley and him being there all the damn time.

"When are we leaving?" Crowley asked, glancing at Sam who raised an eyebrow. That wasn't right, Crowley shouldn't come with them. That would be weird, having the king of Hell joining them. Dean was not telling him something, there was something going on here and Sam really wanted to know what. But it kind of seemed like Dean didn't know either, somehow. 

"You're... Coming with?" Sam asked, voice uncertain. He wasn't sure what was going on with his big brother and the king of Hell, but he was sure that this wasn't something that should be happening. And he was going to figure out why it was happening, no matter what. Because Dean wasn't telling him something, and that could never be good. It also couldn't be good that Crowley was here so much. Crowley just nodded, looking back at his phone. "Alright then. That's going to be a lot of fun." Yeah, he definitely had to figure out what the hell was going on, and he had to do so quick...


	7. Son of a Bitch

It was a ghost. In the end it turned out that Crowley had been right all along. He had been telling the truth, and it was indeed a ghost. After Sam and Dean had gotten rid of it and burnt the bones, Dean ended up with the necklace that the king of Hell had wanted him to get. It was an old necklace. Or at least it seemed to be old. It was pretty heavy and made out of silver with a red stone in the middle of the heart pendant. It didn't look anything like what Dean had expected it to look like. He'd expected something more like... A skull? Something black and dark? Crowley was the king of Hell, after all. That didn't have anything to do with cute red hearts.

Dean felt a sort of pull to the necklace, the thing intrigued him. When Crowley took it from him, Dean felt a little whine escape his throat, making Crowley look at him with one raised brow while Dean turned his reddening face away. "Shut up," He muttered, feeling embarrassed. That whine, it hadn't meant anything. It was nothing. "I'm just tired, okay? You could've at least helped us. I mean, after all, you're a damn demon while we're just human."

"Oh darling, I knew you and your brother could handle it. I wasn't worried. I would have helped if I was needed, but I wasn't," Crowley drawled, tucking the necklace away in his pocket, patting over it while he kept staring at Dean who'd found himself watching the necklace again. Damn it, what was wrong with him? Definitely just exhaustion. Right? What else could it be? Nothing. That's what else it could've been. "Dean, what are you looking at?"

"Nothing. Like I said, I'm exhausted." Dean sighed out, rubbing a hand over his face. That made him feel a little better, and he realized that maybe he should just take a nice shower, get some food, and get some sleep. That sounded amazing to him. It hadn't been that bad or intense of a hunt, but he was getting older and that wasn't a good thing. Yes, he'd never expected to even ever get to this age, but that didn't mean he was grateful for his body hurting like it was. His joints were getting stiff much more easily than five years ago. "So, you have your necklace. What are you going to do with it?"

"Well, I was going to do something with it but... I see that it's already done its job," Crowley softly said, making Dean look at him with a frown. Sam was back at the motel already, Dean had dropped him off there before he went to summon the king of Hell to deliver him his necklace. It seemed that the jewelry was a little more important to Crowley than Dean had originally thought, and now he wanted to know what was going on with it. Dean had always been a curious guy, and Crowley keeping things from him was just making him want to know what was going on more. "I have to go now-"

"No," Dean grabbed onto Crowley's arm, holding him back. He knew that, if the king really wanted to leave, there was nothing Dean could do to hold him back. Not without a devil's trap, at least. But, that didn't stop him from trying. Something inside of him told him that Crowley would listen to him. "Not before you tell me why that necklace is so important to you. What kind of evil plans are you concocting, huh?"

Crowley sighed, pulling the necklace from his pocket again. It seemed to be glowing, the red stone seemed to be shining more than was possible in this lighting. That was probably Dean's imagination, though. There was no way that it could be glowing like that. "This necklace, it belonged to my parents. I know this must come as a surprise to you, but there are in fact soulmates in this world. This necklace can show you if you and someone else are soulmates, if you belong to one another. My mother used it on my father but threw it away when she found out that they weren't soulmates. So, I've been trying to get it back to... Find out something like that for myself."

"You think you have a soulmate?" Dean was surprised by that since, well, Crowley was a demon. He didn't think that demons had a soul, so how could they have a soulmate? Apparently it could be true, if Crowley was indeed using the necklace to find his soulmate. Crowley nodded, looking at Dean with a weird look in his eyes. He looked sort of sad, or guilty, or like he felt sorry for Dean. That was really unsettling. "Huh. I didn't think demons had a soul."

"We do. It's different, but... I have a soul. It's too difficult to explain right now." Crowley softly said, putting the necklace back into his pocket. "So, no evil plans at all, dear. Just... Well, just love, I suppose." This was definitely weird. Dean hadn't thought that someone like Crowley would be capable of something like love. But, apparently he was. And he cared enough about love to really badly want to find out who his soulmate was. Which was even stranger. "Can I go now that you know I'm not planning on murdering anyone with a necklace?"

Dean nodded, letting go of Crowley's arm. He sighed a little, nodding a little more. "Yeah. Just don't do anything stupid, got that? 'Cause I'll take that necklace from you and smack you with it." Crowley just chuckled, nodding his head before disappearing into thin air. Dean just didn't understand any of this, he doubted that he ever would understand it. All he knew was that it was really annoying that he felt jealous over the thought of Crowley maybe having a soulmate out there who wasn't Dean...

"So, it was for soulmates?"

Dean nodded, taking a bite of his burger. They were in the motel room, cleaned up and now finally eating some damn food. It made Dean feel a whole lot better, even though there was still this weird feeling of emptiness inside of him that he couldn't quite get rid of. "Yeah." 

"And we care about that because...?" Sam slowly asked, looking very much confused. Dean sighed, shaking his head at this. Wasn't the answer obvious? It sucked that Crowley had a soulmate, because Dean obviously didn't have one. And if Crowley got to have one, then Dean deserved one as well. Specifically someone like Crowley. Maybe even Crowley himself. 

"Because, how does someone like Crowley get a soulmate? That has to mean we have soulmates too." Dean explained, tapping his finger on the table, staring at Sam who just kept looking incredibly confused. Why was Sam so stupid sometimes? It didn't make any sense. I mean, the soulmate thing made sense, but the fact that Sam didn't understand it made no sense. "Is his soulmate a demon? Is this just a thing for demons?"

"Why do you worry so much about this?" Sam just asked, making Dean stop mid-chew, looking up at his little brother with wide eyes. That was actually a great question, and Dean didn't really know the answer to it. He had no idea why he was worrying so much about this. He'd never wanted the apple-pie life with the wife or husband and the white picket fence, so why did he care about it if he had a soulmate or not? It didn't make sense. And this was Crowley, for fucks sake. The king of hell having a soulmate shouldn't matter to him either. "Yeah, exactly. I think you should worry about the answer on that question, Dean. Not about why Crowley has a soulmate. Because Dean? You're jealous, which means you might like Crowley more than you think you do." 

Dean swallowed, looking down again. That couldn't be right. Yeah, sure, he thought Crowley was attractive and the whole... Dark king of Hell thing was kind of sexy. And Crowley was nice to him, nicer than he was to anyone else. And he liked how snarky and sassy Crowley was- "Oh fuck. Son of a bitch. I'm in love with Crowley."


	8. Nightmares

_"You see, Dean, I don't really care much about you." Crowley drawled, circling around Dean at a very slow pace, just like a predator would do. Dean felt hunted, scared, like he was going to die or something. He didn't often feel scared, but now he did. And he did not like it. Especially not since the reason of his fear was Crowley. He had really thought that the king of Hell wouldn't do such a thing anymore, wouldn't tie Dean up to a chair and hurt him anymore. Especially not with words like this. "You're just a little, pathetic, disgusting human. Why would someone as powerful as me be interested in someone as... Well, someone like you?"_

_Dean winced at that, glaring at Crowley. He felt so stupid. How could he have ever trusted the demon? That was just an idiotic move of him, wasn't it? It made him hate himself even more, mostly because he felt like he could've seen this all coming. He could have seen it coming if he hadn't been so blinded by his... Feelings. Or whatever. His stupid, stupid, stupid feelings. Yeah, Dean really hated himself._

_"I mean, first of all, you're completely worthless. You're nothing but a pretty face, Dean-o." Crowley chuckled, tapping Dean's cheek. Dean couldn't move, and that really sucked because that meant he couldn't kick Crowley's ass either. And he wanted to do that very badly, obviously. Crowley deserved to get his ass kicked. Hard. "Really. That's all everyone ever saw you as. A pretty face. No one cared about your personality or your feelings or whatever. Not that you have much personality anyways. Speaking of having a lack of things, you're really lacking in the brain department, aren't you?"_

_Yeah, okay, this really hurt a lot. A lot. Like, extremely much. It was really painful. And Dean kind of wanted to cry. Speaking of crying, Dean was pretty sure he felt tears running down his cheeks. He had actually been in love with Crowley, he had actually thought that maybe, maybe Crowley would feel something for him too. but no. That was all just Dean's imagination. And he hated it._

_"See, everyone just thinks you're a really stupid little bitch, Dean. Only good for being a distraction, for being the bait," Dean blinked a little, Crowley now taking the shape of his brother. Okay, well, that was not really what was normal, right? That shouldn't be happening. How was that even happening? "No one cares about you, Dean. No one will ever care about you-"_

Dean gasped as he shot up in bed, looking around before falling back again when he realized he was in a motel bed. Great. Another nightmare. Ever since the whole necklace incident, Dean hadn't seen Crowley again. He guessed that triggered the abandonment issues he had tried to bury, and he kept having nightmares of Crowley and Sam saying these awful things to him. And even though Dean knew it was just a damn fucking dream and it wasn't real, it still hurt. A lot. His feelings got hurt. And they always got hurt, so this sucked.

He just didn't get why Crowley never showed up anymore. It had been two months, and there hadn't been any sign of the demon. It was like he had just disappeared off the face of the earth. There was something wrong, and Dean _knew_ it had to do with that stupid necklace that could find your soulmate for you. Dean wanted to see Crowley again, especially because he figured out he was completely and utterly in love with him and he desperately wanted Crowley to feel the same for him. For once in his life, couldn't he have some happiness? Dean sighed, rubbing his eyes and rolling over to his side, slowly drifting off to sleep again...

"Dean, we're gonna have to talk about this." 

Dean hated those words. He'd dreaded them ever since Sam had found out about Dean's feelings. It was just horrible. He hated talking about his feelings, especially about feelings he didn't want to feel and didn't understand. Because he totally didn't understand the feelings, he really didn't. Why was he, a hunter, feeling things of affection for this damn demon? His father, and any other hunter, would already be terribly disappointed of him that he was working together with Crowley. Or had been, because they still hadn't heard of the demon. "No, we don't."

"Dean-"

"He's gone, okay? He used that necklace on me, and he saw something in it, and now he's freaking gone. It fucking sucks. What do you want me to do, cry on your fucking shoulder?" Dean snapped, making Sam look at him with more sympathy in his eyes. He felt bad for Dean, and Dean hated that. He didn't need anyone feeling bad for him. "I don't want to talk about it because there's no point. He's not coming back. And even if he is, there's nothing that's going to happen between us. He's a demon, and I'm a human. That's all. Now let's just focus on the case, okay?"

Sam sighed but nodded, knowing exactly how stubborn his big brother could be. He moved to talk about the case instead, and Dean started to pay attention to that. He was just going to throw himself into work, into case after case. That was the best thing he could do, seeing as nothing with Crowley was ever going to happen. This was just his life now, and it was going to be like this forever. Lonely and without his, well, his soulmate...

"Crowley, I know we don't really talk but..." Sam stopped, making sure that Dean wasn't listening in. He wasn't. The oldest Winchester brother was sitting on the bed, getting massaged by it while he blasted some rock music through his headphones. Good, Dean wasn't going to be able to hear him. Because Sam really didn't want Dean to hear him. Dean wasn't going to like this. "I don't know what happened between you and Dean, and I know it's none of my business. But, I'm worried about Dean. He's been having nightmares lately, he's been drinking more than I've ever seen him do and that's saying something. I know that he won't ever admit this but... He's hurting. You have to come back, Crowley. For Dean. Please."

Sam sighed as he ended the call. He'd tried calling the king of Hell multiple times already, but it always went to voicemail. It sucked, but he left message after message, every single time just angry at Crowley for just abandoning Sam's big brother. But this time it was different, this was the first time he had ever begged Crowley to come back. But he needed it to happen, because Dean was slowly breaking, and Sam had no idea what was going to happen to him if he really did break. He just wanted Dean to be happy, and if that meant he had to be with Crowley, then Sam was going to drag Crowley to him by his ear...


	9. To be or not to be? Soulmates, I mean

"Hey."

"Hey? Just... Hey?" Dean stared at the demon, watching as he nodded his head. The oldest Winchester brother squinted at Crowley before suddenly punching him hard in the face. Maybe that wasn't fair, and maybe it was a little stupid since, you know, he was the king of hell and more powerful than Dean was and ever would be but still. He was so mad. And his angst and his aggression got the better of him. He wanted to punch Crowley and just kick his ass, so he was going to do that. He could do whatever he wanted, 'cause he was mad as hell. "You fuckin' asshole! You son of a bitch! Don't you-" Dean grunted when he was pushed into the wall by Crowley's powers while the demon just stood there, watching as Dean struggled against the invisible restraints. "Oh I am so going to murder your ass!"

"No, you're not. You're mad, and I understand that, but you will calm down soon." Crowley said and Dean squinted at him, just growling a little. He was still mad and Crowley holding him back like this was definitely not making it any better. In fact, it made him even more mad. I mean, he was practically being held against his own will against the damn wall. He couldn't even struggle much because he was human and he was not nearly as strong as the demon holding him down was. "I'm just doing this out of precautions, darling. I don't want you to accidentally kill me."

"You know what?" Dean started, letting out a deep breath when he finally gave up struggling, settling for just glaring now. "You're an asshole. Fuck you."

"Oh darling, I don't bottom," Crowley purred out, walking closer to Dean and staring into his eyes. Dean was taller, especially now that he was suspended a few inches from the floor. He felt so powerless, so stupid. And he hated that, because, well, he'd been taught all his life that he _needed_ to be strong and in control and if he wasn't, then he would most likely get hurt. Or worse: someone else (possibly Sam) would get hurt. Yeah, he'd gotten threatened with that idea a lot. And Dean did not like the idea of his little brother getting hurt, but you might have already known that. It was practically written on Dean's forehead, after all. "You wanted me here, didn't you? Now I'm here."

"I wanted you here weeks ago when I actually needed you," Dean snapped, struggling again before letting out another deep breath. He couldn't cry, he had to calm himself down and stop the tears. He wasn't going to cry, not in front of anyone else. Especially not Crowley. The demon couldn't see how weak he was, not over a subject like this. Because this had to do with Crowley and Dean, and Dean didn't want Crowley to know how much it had hurt him that the demon didn't show up when Dean called. Or the second time, or the third or fourth or fiftieth time he'd called. Because, if Crowley knew then- well, Dean didn't even want to know what could possibly happen. "But whatever. Apparently you didn't care enough to even come and see me."

Dean had left at least ten drunken voicemails for Crowley. None of which he could actually really remember leaving, but he knew that there had to be something embarrassing in there. How could it not? He probably had confessed his love at some point too. Not that that mattered, because it was most likely the reason why Crowley hadn't reacted for weeks. They'd scared Crowley off, or the demon just didn't like him. He didn't really know what it was that had made Crowley stay away, but... Whatever it was, Dean knew he was the reason for it.

"I hadn't meant to stay away for this long, but... There was something I had to take care of." Always one for vague answers. Well, if Dean really thought about it, he realized that pretty much every single supernatural being he'd met until now had been real vague. And that was just really annoying. Because, why could they not just give a clear answer and make it easier for everyone? 

"Of course. Yeah, it's always business with you isn't it?" Dean shook his head, wiping some dust off his arms when Crowley finally released him. He then pushed past him, making sure to bump his shoulder into Crowley. He was around one hundred percent sure that that action hurt himself more than it hurt Crowley, but it was the idea behind it that mattered most. Dean rummaged through his bag, fumbling with his favorite gun to calm himself down. "Why are you here?"

"Your brother called me-"

Dean scoffed at this, wanting to scream or cry. He wasn't really sure which one of those options sounded better to him but damn it, he also wanted to smack Crowley. Again. 'Cause it felt good to do it. He felt so damn horrible about this, and now it seemed that Sam was more important to Crowley than Dean was. Which really hurt. A lot. Because why did Sam always turn out to be the more loved one when it was always Dean who was trying harder to be liked? "Oh, so when Sam calls you come but when I do so, you're just ignoring me. Sam's not here, by the way. So you can leave again." 

"I understand that you're mad at me," Crowley paused at Dean's angry glare, making the king of hell sigh deeply, looking down before continuing to talk again. "I understand that you're mad at me, and you have all the right to be so. But, you have to understand that I had no choice. What I had to take care of was for the best. I was doing it for you."

"You're killing people for me?" Dean asked, turning to look at Crowley with his eyebrows raised. "I don't know whether to hate that or to feel flattered. I'm gonna go with the first thing."

"I'm not killing people. I just had to take care of something, like I'd just said," Crowley softly said, making Dean sigh and shake his head. He wasn't going to let Crowley just get away with this. First he was going to keep on hurting him, and then he was going to be this unclear about it and confuse Dean even more. He just wanted for once that Crowley just said what he meant, because this was exhausting. "No people have been hurt."

"Crowley, damn it. If you don't just tell me what you've done I'm going to kick your ass." Dean snapped, waving the gun around a little. The thing couldn't hurt Crowley too much, but he could stuff salt into the bullet wounds and _that_ was going to hurt. So, yeah, he could torture Crowley. And he really would if the ass wasn't just going to fucking talk. Because Dean was angry, and until now he hadn't heard a good reason Crowley had for hurting Dean like this. "Tell me. It can't be that bad, I've already heard a lot of weird things."

Crowley sighed, looking down for a few seconds before he looked up again. If Dean thought he'd been hurt before, well... That was nothing in comparison to what he'd be hearing now. "I had a witch get rid of our soulmate connection."

So, did everyone just hate Dean?


	10. Black

Life is pain.

Life is complete and utter suffering. 

It's like, you've already fallen off a cliff but then a car lands on top of you. And when you finally make it out from under that car, a truck falls on you. And then somehow a plane. And then somehow your least favorite uncle. What I'm trying to say is that life is horrible and it sucks and everyone in it sucked too. It was just an endless amount of sucking, and Dean felt so unhappy about it. I mean, why was everything in his life always going to shit? Dean tried so hard to get good things, to be happy. Hell, he even took more care of strangers than he did of himself. Wasn't that a sign that he should get more of what he wanted? Didn't he deserve better? But no, everything just always kept sucking. 

Sam sucked for always being the better one. He was always their dad's favorite, he was always the smarter one (he got to go to college while Dean had to drop out of high school to take care of him), he was always the best at hunting or... Well, basically everything. He was always treated as if he was better than Dean, which he probably was. At the least he was worth more, seeing as their father had always told him to 'watch out for Sammy' while he had never once told him to 'watch out for yourself, Dean'. Sometimes John even just forgot Dean's name because he was just an asshole and Dean just wasn't worth remembering or something. But Sam was always the perfect one. He got to have a girlfriend even, while Sam always judged him whenever he even did so much as flirt with someone. It was just so unfair. Wasn't it? Why didn't someone love Dean? Didn't he deserve to be loved?

Their dad sucked for obvious reasons. You all know this, we don't even have to talk about it.

And Crowley? Crowley was on a whole different level of sucking. A whole different astral plane of sucking. He was a dickfaced douchebag and Dean hated him- or at least he wanted to hate him. He really did, and he really tried to do so, to even do so much as dislike him, but it was just impossible. He, Dean Winchester, had a big ol' crush on the king of Hell. And apparently that was his soulmate. Or at least he had been until Crowley got someone to get rid of that connection. Which was just painful. That was all Dean could call it right now because he literally didn't have a word for it. He was pretty sure that there were no words for something like this because he was pretty sure that no one had to go through this before. Basically no one knew about soulmates anyways, and the ones that did surely didn't get rid of their soulmate bond. Because it was just painful.

And Dean wasn't a big fan of painful. But painful was all he knew, it was always only painful and it made Dean so fucking sad. He wanted to cry and scream and punch a wall but he couldn't, because he wasn't allowed to have feelings. He always got punished for having feelings, apparently feelings were only allowed when Sam had them. Everything was awful, everything sucked, and Dean was in more pain than he had ever been.

Right after Crowley had told him that he'd gotten rid of their soulmate connection, Dean had punched him in the face and ran off. He had gotten in his car and basically just gotten on the road. He knew that, technically, Crowley could just pop into his car but whatever. This was mostly just meant as a statement. I mean, did people really hate Dean enough to take away the very special bond between them? Apparently so. And it really didn't make Dean feel any good about himself. Maybe he'd even cried, but he wasn't going to admit that. Especially not to dickface Crowley. 

Dean's phone kept ringing. He had thrown it into the passenger's seat, he didn't want to even look at it. The sound of it made him clench his hands tightly around the steering wheel and he felt so fucking angry. It was just so unfair. He finally thought that maybe he would have something good in his life and now Crowley didn't even want him. A _demon_ didn't even want him. That was really a low point in his life. Seriously, demons were one of the worst creatures. How could they not even want someone like Dean?

He angrily wiped tears from his eyes, reaching down to grab his phone. Sam was calling, and it was really getting annoying. He just wanted some goddamn peace. Dean reached over, opening the glove compartment to throw the phone in there. But, you know, he was going at a very high speed on a road and, well, not keeping your eyes on said road could be dangerous. When Dean finally looked up again when he heard loud honking of another car he was on the wrong side of the road, racing towards a truck. He turned the wheel to the right, but lost control of the car. Before he really knew what was happening, everything was already black...


	11. King of Hearts

Dean grumbled a little, trying to turn away from the annoying beeping. He pulled the pillow over his head, sighing a little when it drowned out the noises. He tried to go back to sleep, but something made the hairs on his neck raise. Dean frowned, trying to figure out what made him shiver like this. His brain worked slow though, like it didn't want to do what Dean wanted it to do. But eventually Dean slowly pulled the pillow from his face, trying to figure out who was looking at him. 

The first thing he noticed was that he definitely wasn't in the motel Sam and him had been staying at. Everything surrounding him was white, and he was pretty sure that there hadn't been any medical equipment like a heart monitor. The second thing he noticed was that both Sam and Crowley were standing outside of his room in front of the window that looked out over the hallway, making Dean frown even more. It looked like they were arguing, and Dean growled. He ripped the IV's from his arms and got up, stumbling over to the door and yanking it open.

"Dean-"

"Don't Dean me. What the Hell is that asshole doing here? And why are you arguing about me, huh? I'm not some damn fuckin' damsel in distress, so keep your stupid asses shut." Dean snapped, making Sam frown a little. Hey, he was angry at Sam too, because Sam was definitely going to find a soulmate who wanted to be his soulmate because Sam was always so perfect. Sam was perfect, Sam was loved by everyone, Sam always got everything he wanted and Dean? Dean could just fucking die 'cause no one fucking cared. "And you-" Dean looked at Crowley, not letting the fact that he had to hold onto the wall to keep himself up straight bother him because he was still terrifying and still mad as hell. "Get. The. Fuck. _Out._ "

"Dean, I would like to talk to you to explain-"

"If I wanted an explanation I would've asked for one, but no. I don't. So get the fuck out, or I'm gonna make you get out. I will perform an exorcism right here right now, demon spawn." Dean snapped. Crowley looked hurt and Dean really wanted to tell himself that he didn't care but he did, which it just made it hurt more. He didn't want to hurt his ex-soulmate, but at the same time he did. Maybe if Crowley hurt as much as he had hurt Dean then- well, that would just be fair, right? Wouldn't it? Dean felt like it would be fair. Crowley disappeared, making Dean sigh before he looked at Sam. "What do you want, Sam?"

"You can't run forever, Dean."

"Not currently 'cause I'm pretty sure I have some broken ribs, but after that I'm going to keep running, kid." Dean said, moving to get back in his room because fuck, his everything was hurting. He got back onto the bed, closing his eyes and letting out a little sigh. And with his everything hurting he also meant his feelings. Dean wanted nothing more than to jump out of the window right now, provided he was on a higher floor, of course. He didn't just want to break his legs, he wanted to break all of his bones and die. "'Cause you know what? I want to, and I'm gonna. 'Cause I hate life, a lot. And everything fucking hurts, Sam."

"It's not that bad." Sam looked like he regretted those words right after they left his mouth. Dean turned, looking at his little brother, eyes spitting fire. Was fratricide really that illegal? It shouldn't be, not when your own brother told you that being cut down from your own soulmate wasn't a bad thing. Because, you know, it was a bad thing. It really was. Dean had spent years of his life wanting a soulmate because that soulmate would want _him._ Dean just wanted to be wanted, to be needed, to be loved. Just for once he wanted to be the important one. But no, even his own soulmate didn't want him. Even if he had thought that soulmates weren't a real thing, it still hurt to not be wanted now that he knew they were real. "I just think that maybe you should let Crowley explain."

"Why? Did he explain to you why he had a witch take away our soulmate bond? I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if he did. Why wouldn't he?" Dean sighed, shaking his head. He tried to relax on the bed, laying down on his back and turning his head away from Sam. He didn't want to look at his brother, it just hurt. "Everyone always tells you everything, huh?"

"Dean-"

"Just leave me alone, Sam. I want to be alone right now." Dean softly said and his voice was so pathetic that Sam just did what he wanted, for once. He left Dean alone in his misery, and Dean curled up, trying not to cry. He tried so hard not to focus on how empty he felt now that the bond was gone. It felt like he had changed, like everything was different now. It hurt, and Dean just wanted to die. Yes, he knew that was dramatic, but for once in his life he didn't give a shit if anyone thought he was acting like a girl. All he could think of was that not even a demon, the lowest of low, wanted him...

_Dean opened his eyes, letting out sigh before frowning. It felt different. Everything felt different. He wasn't empty anymore- or he had just embraced the emptiness. It wasn't that bad. At least now he wouldn't be held back because he loved someone. Love was weakness, wasn't it? If Dean could just rip out his own heart so he wouldn't feel things anymore, he would. He would so do that._

_The man sat up, looking around the room, noticing that he was no longer in the hospital room he had just gone to sleep in. That was weird. Dean didn't think that he sleepwalked, so something or someone must have brought him here. But without waking Dean? That was almost impossible, seeing as Dean was a hunter. He slowly got off the bed, his ribs not hurting anymore. Or maybe he was just too distracted to notice the pain. There was something on the floor. Something red. Something bloody._

_Dean walked closer, frowning. It was shiny, but there was hardly any light in the room so it didn't make any sense. Bending down, Dean looked closer at the red stuff, swallowing hard when he saw that it was indeed blood. Alright, okay, so he was in some kind of fucked up situation. Great. Dean got up straight again, looking around but not seeing anything. He didn't even have any weapons, so all he could do was hide. But his legs- his body- it didn't cooperate. He just started walking, following the path of blood until he came to the source._

_Crowley._

_Chest ripped open._

_Blood everywhere._

_Dean swallowed hard, his breathing picking up speed when he noticed that he was holding something. He looked at his hand, starting to scream when he saw the heart that was clenched in his fingers. He had killed Crowley. Ripped out his heart. It made squishy, wet sounds when Dean clenched harder, digging his fingers into the bloody heart, crushing it like some kind of play-doh made piece of art. And the worst thing? He felt like Crowley had deserved it. Now Crowley finally felt what it was like to have your heart crushed..._


	12. Big Idiots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there's only going to be one chapter after this, maybe two. But not many more than that because I feel like if I go on for much longer it's just going to be dragged out and that's boring. Anyways, hope you have a great day!

It took a few days before Dean was let out of the hospital. By then he'd had three full fledged fights with Sam, ignored all the seven times Crowley tried to talk to him, and thought about jumping out of the hospital window eleven times. He didn't, though. But he was kind of starting to regret that. After his third fight with Sam, which all happened on a single day, Dean had told the woman at the front desk to not let Sam in again until he said so. And then he'd turned off his phone. He _had_ been nice and smart enough to let Sam know he was okay, though, because he was so not in the mood to have Sam coming in, guns blazing. So, yeah, once Dean was getting out, pretty much healed up, Sam was pissed. And that was putting it lightly. Steam was almost literally coming out of his ears.

"And you just- they just denied access, Dean! And I had to listen to Crowley mope all day! Every day! Dean, are you even listening?" Sam snapped, making Dean sigh and roll his eyes. Fine, maybe he'd been a little bit of an asshole to his little brother. Maybe Sam hadn't deserved to be treated like this because, then again, Sam hadn't really done anything wrong now had he? It was Crowley who had been the assface dickhead. "Dean?" But, you know. Couldn't Dean be selfish this one time and just be mad at the entire world?

"Yeah, I shouldn't have done that. I should've let you visit me. But I didn't, okay? What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry? 'Cause I'm not, Sam. I really am not sorry. I felt like shit." Dean said, making Sam stare at him before he quickly looked back at the road because he was driving after all. Safety first, kids. "I still do."

"Dean, I'm sorry."

"Leave it." Dean muttered, turning to look out of the car window. He closed his eyes, folding his arms over his chest. He felt horrible, really. Empty, like something was missing. He guessed that was because of the whole soulmate thing. You know: the fact that Crowley had literally let some stupid ass witch take away their soulmate connection, which meant that Dean would never have an actual soulmate because the one person who was his soulmate didn't even want him. And yes, it had been really weird to find out that a demon was his soulmate because he hadn't even thought that demons even had souls, but still. A demon getting rid of the connection between them, the bond that made them perfect for each other, that was just painful. 

"You never let him explain why he did it."

"Isn't it obvious? He did it 'cause he doesn't want to be with me. He hates my ass." Dean muttered, feeling sorry for himself. Hey, no one else seemed to be doing it so he was gonna do it just like he did everything else. But then again, he did bad on everything else, so he was probably gonna fail at just feeling sorry for his own ass. And he wasn't going to let Crowley explain himself because he really didn't feel like listening to someone telling him that they didn't want him because they disliked him even though they were soulmates. Dean actually didn't even really understand how soulmates could dislike one another when they were meant for each other.

"You're an idiot, Dean." Sam said and Dean raised a brow, looking at his brother. Uh, hello? He was in incredible emotional pain right now? Calling him an idiot was just a dick move, Sam shouldn't do that. And also, why was he doing it? It just seemed a little uncalled for. And very unfair. Sam really should be a little more considerate about his feelings, right? Didn't Dean deserve that? "Crowley told me his reasons, and I was forced to listen to them, and I've decided that you fit together perfectly because you're both idiots."

"You know, I really don't get how people think you're the nice one," Dean muttered, looking confused. He hadn't want to let Crowley explain because, well, he had already thought made up his own conclusions of Crowley doing this only because he didn't like Dean. He didn't think there would be any other reason for it, honestly, and he wasn't in the mood to listen to the demon king talk to Dean about his hate for the human. "I don't even know what you're talking about. Care to explain?"

"Only because you're my brother and you, like I said before, are an idiot and if I don't do anything about this, neither of you are ever going to end up together." Dean was even more confused now because had Sam missed the entire part where Crowley had their soulmate bond removed? "Dean, he didn't remove it because of you, he removed it because he's a demon." Dean still wasn't following, and Sam must have somehow seen that on his face because he started talking again. "He got it removed because he doesn't think you want to have your soulmate being a demon. He thinks you deserve better."

"But... I..."

"Mmh, exactly. So why don't you just go talk to him, huh? And you can both stop being idiots." Sam said, moving to park the car at the motel room. Dean blinked a little, his brain trying to process what he'd just heard. Crowley had taken the bond away because of himself? Not because of Dean? That meant that he cared more about Dean than he thought he did. That meant Crowley loved him. That meant that Dean should really talk to him and they should really figure out how to get their soulmate bond back. They belonged together, forever.


	13. Confessions

"Crowley, you big fuckin-"

"Dean, what are you doing here?" Crowley frowned, having been pulled to the crossroads by Dean. The asshole demon hadn't been answering any of his calls, it seemed like it now was Crowley's time to ignore him. Which was infuriating, of course. But, then again, Dean had ignored him for a long time so maybe it was only fair. So, Dean had taken measures that he wasn't very proud of, and he decided that, if Crowley wouldn't come to him because he wanted to, then he was going to just... Force him to come. "You're not going to make a deal, are you, squirrel?"

"No, of course not. I'm not stupid." Dean said, rubbing a hand over his face before he moved closer to Crowley, reaching out for him. Crowley kept staring at him, looking concerned. It was an odd look, but Dean realized that he was also kind of used to it. Crowley looked at him like that all the time, which was just ridiculous. A demon caring for Dean? Dean didn't even care for Dean. "Sam told me."

"The moose... Told you? I'm sorry, I'm lost." 

"He told me why you took our soulmate bond away, Crowley. It wasn't because of me." Dean softly said, making the small, stocky British man raise a brow as if he was saying: _no, duh, of course it wasn't._ And fuck, Dean had been incredibly stupid, hadn't he? He had thought this was all because of him, because he just had such a stupidly small, basically non existent sense of self worth. He just assumed it was because of him, he just thought that everything bad that happened was because of himself, because he hated himself and why didn't bad things happen because of him? "I just... Kind of thought it was 'cause of me, and I uh... Fuck, I'm really not good at this, huh? I don't know how to say all this, Crowley, please don't make me."

"Your brother was right. He might be stupid most of the time, but he was right for once. I did not do any of this because of you, Dean. But I figured that you deserved better, much better, than some demon who isn't even attractive." Crowley softly said and yeah, okay, this was really uncomfortable. Dean wasn't used to talking about his feelings, and it was just something he would probably never get used to. It wasn't really that great to do, honestly. Made things really awkward. "But I too seem to have mistakes."

"Yeah, I guess we weren't soulmates for no reason, huh?" Dean quietly muttered before he looked at Crowley, staring at him for a moment before he pulled the demon close to him, pressing their lips together. It was like a wave of love and feelings came through him, like a warmth that Dean had never felt before. Dean pulled back, gasping, staring at Crowley with wide eyes. "What the hell was that?"

"Our soulmate bond, it's been restored because of our kiss." Crowley softly said, lips quirking up in a smile. Dean groaned, shaking his head a little. This was just fucking ridiculous. Dean hated magic and everything supernatural. Except for Crowley, of course. "That's right, true love."

"This ain't a stupid fairytale and no matter what you think, I ain't the chick." Dean said, only making Crowley laugh and pull him in for another kiss. Yeah, whatever. Dean didn't really care anymore. Even if this was incredibly gay, even if this was really stupid and like a damn fairytale, Dean couldn't care less. Having his soulmate back felt amazing. It felt like he was whole again, and Dean finally felt happy again. Like he could finally be happy again without feeling like he didn't deserve it. They'd both just been really huge idiots, trying to protect each other without realizing that they were both just being stupid. 

"We should perhaps figure out how to tell your brother. I saw that he's been calling me a lot for the past hour. Don't tell me you ran out on him again." Dean grinned sheepishly at his soulmate, making the king of hell roll his eyes. He shook his head, letting out a deep sigh, even if he looked very amused. "You Winchesters. You're always getting on my nerves."

"Well, you're not getting rid of me for a long time now, Crowley." Dean softly said, pressing their lips together again. Even though Crowley was a demon, this was amazing. And Dean got it, why Crowley took away the bond. He was a demon, and Dean was a hunter. It shouldn't be like this, it wasn't right. But at the same time it was, and they were happy. And you know what? They'd both been through enough to say that they really didn't care about what anyone else thought of them anymore. No, this was the time for their happiness, and they were going to be happy together no matter what...


End file.
